PreBronze
Registered:: 02-11-2003 Posts: 4 | Have any pro-ams here broken up with their coaches? I am interested in finding out what others experienced when they faced that decision. What made you leave your teacher? How long have you been with him? How difficult was the decision?
I suppose I must say I am in that situation. I don't know that I want to give specifics. But it is extremely painful to decide to leave a teacher. I thought listening to other students' stories/advice would make it easier.
I have no romantic feelings for my teacher, so I don't need any advice along those lines. But it is like losing a very important relationship. It hurts a lot. |
Championship
Location: Somerville, MA Registered:: 06-06-2002 Posts: 1588 | quote:
Originally posted by Reina:
I have no romantic feelings for my teacher, so I don't need any advice along those lines. But it is like losing a very important relationship. It hurts a lot.
Never done pro-am, but breakups in amateur partnerships usually have an element of this as well On a purely practical level, a good dance partnership ends up connecting to one's life in many of the same ways that a romantic relationship would, so when you disconnect it, the hole left behind can have some similarities. Dancing with other people then either feels wonderful (if you are mad at the ex-partner) or hopeless (if you are wishing there had been a way to continue).
One unfortunate thing is that non-dancers probably will not understand - they'll think it's either relatively trivial, or they'll think you're in denial about the no romantic feelings bit. It will take either dance friends, or people who are very good at listening without projecting, to understand what you have lost.
As for recovery... do a lot of dancing socially. Treat yourself to something special dance related (lesson with visiting pro, new shoes/costume, half dozen ballroom CD's, whatever) AND something special NOT related to dance. And then start looking for a replacement... |
PreBronze
Registered:: 12-15-2002 Posts: 111 | I'd personally go more for the dance-related special treats because anything related to dance might just remind you of the partnership that didn't work out. The way I deal with partnership breakups is to take a break from dance for a while and enjoy doing other things for a change.
And for some reason, talking to dance friends about my breakups only makes me feel worse. I'd spend more time with those non-dance friends who you might have neglected while dancing pro/am with your coach.
It'll make you feel good, trust me, to enjoy the other pleasures of life like that, because there's more to life than dance. And you don't have to take a long break from dancing and become rusty. Sometimes all it takes is a week or two away from the world of dance to realize that there's no need to make yourself miserable and mope over a lost dance partnership when there are myriads of other opportunities you have yet to explore. And if you know breaking up was for the best, all the more reason to move on quickly.
Best of luck to you,
~Virginie~ |
