Have any pro-ams here broken up with their coaches? I am interested in finding out what others experienced when they faced that decision. What made you leave your teacher? How long have you been with him? How difficult was the decision?
I suppose I must say I am in that situation. I don't know that I want to give specifics. But it is extremely painful to decide to leave a teacher. I thought listening to other students' stories/advice would make it easier.
I have no romantic feelings for my teacher, so I don't need any advice along those lines. But it is like losing a very important relationship. It hurts a lot.

I'd personally go more for the dance-related special treats because anything related to dance might just remind you of the partnership that didn't work out. The way I deal with partnership breakups is to take a break from dance for a while and enjoy doing other things for a change.

And for some reason, talking to dance friends about my breakups only makes me feel worse. I'd spend more time with those non-dance friends who you might have neglected while dancing pro/am with your coach.

It'll make you feel good, trust me, to enjoy the other pleasures of life like that, because there's more to life than dance. And you don't have to take a long break from dancing and become rusty. Sometimes all it takes is a week or two away from the world of dance to realize that there's no need to make yourself miserable and mope over a lost dance partnership when there are myriads of other opportunities you have yet to explore. And if you know breaking up was for the best, all the more reason to move on quickly.

Best of luck to you,

~Virginie~

It's only painful if you think of it as a breakup. It's really a business relationship. If you change your grocery store, do you weep?

Reina - say hello to Joe, our Dancescape scrooge. He gets grumpy when it comes to pro-am, giving gifts to teachers, and anything else that has something to do with feelins of attachment. (luv ya Joe )

I am sorry you are going through a rough time.

I've been doing Pro/Am for about 5 1/2 years and I'm with Joe: at the core it's a business relationship. I feel that my teacher is professional enough that if I went to him and said "It's been really great but the time has come for me to move on and so I'll be going to _____ ______ from now on," I feel confident that he'd wish me well. I know it's a business relationship, he knows it's a business relationship, and we know that each other knows it's a business relationship. I think that's part of how we've managed to have a satisfying and successful student/teacher relationship all these years: because I never confused him with being a surrogate boyfriend, or being a buddy, or being "my" dance partner. He's my teacher, and I think of him fondly for it, but we both know this arrangement is "at will" and that he can drop me as a student if or when he wants to and I can drop him as a teacher if or when I want to.

Someone I know is going through the "should I change teachers" blues. On the one hand, they feel like they will disappoint their teacher and make them feel bad for leaving...and I say on the other hand the teacher is a professional dance teacher and having students come and go is part of the job, and a teacher can't take it too personally if a student wants to go elsewhere. Sometimes a teacher can only take a student so far, and that's not to say that the first teacher was bad, just that it was time for the student to move on to someone else with a different focus, or more experience, or better schedule availability.

I was simply trying to be concise; Laura was a little more verbose. Got nothing against pro/ammers. Do have something against peeps without common sense. No rough times here QQS, but you're still welcome to comfort me.