I don't know if this has occurred to anyone else, but I know of a dance couple, who live apart, and come together only for lessons/practice/competition. (They have nothing else in common.) The lady is not permitted to keep any of her competition dresses, and sometimes her shoes, in her possession.
What happens is this: She phones him, telling him which particular dress she would like to wear for a competition. He then takes it from his wardrobe, and puts it in his car, then picks her up, and off they go to the competition. Once there, he hands her dress to her. She goes to the ladies' changing room to put the dress on. Once the competition is over, she changes out of her dress, and hands it back to him. He puts it in his car, and that's the last she sees of it until the next competition. Though they no longer take part in Latin American, he still has possession of her dresses for that as well. Obviously she is not happy with the situation, but puts up with it just to dance.
Anyone else come across this sort of thing?

Sounds bizarre to me. Who pays for her dresses?

Ballroom dresses: there are five altogether, of which he has paid for three.
Latin American: two dresses, she has paid for both.

I don't get it. What's the point? Is there something in it for him, or is he just a control freak - - and why does she put up with it? So, what if she changes her mind when she gets to comp and wants to wear another one of "her dresses"?

Well, I know he is indeed a control freak; he has had many dance partners, and has treated them all badly. From what I have been told, he has a bad temper and uses foul language, but this lady has put up with it, because she says that she likes dancing with this gentleman.
To be honest, this couple has done quite well at competitons, but if I was in her shoes (when I had them), I would find that even the success I have had would not be worth the risk to my mental well-being. But I'm not this lady, and don't know how she thinks.
As far as changing her mind about which dress to wear, the five dresses cover four colours, - so she is already made up and wearing the jewellery to go with the particular dress she has chosen for him to bring.

Wow, that really is extreme and a bit sad. If she is being treated badly, then no amount of dancing should keep her with him, not worth her loss of self-respect.

When you speak to her, does she tell you this in a good-humoured way, or has she expressed any negative comments about the whole situation.

I have spoken to her. She says that she knows that she has no self-respect, but does not care, as all she wants to do is dance in ballroom dancing competitions. Apparently, this man pays for all the lessons, picks her up, - and drops her off at her doorstep each time. This I think has a lot to do with why she has put up with him.
It is not for me, or anyone else, to interfere in their relationship, - such as it is, but it is certainly the strangest that I have ever come across in the dancing world.

But you have already interfered, in a way, by airing their dirty laundry here...are you hoping the guy or the woman will see this and recognize themselves and see error of their ways? Obviously you knew their behaviour was dysfunctional, so why did you start this thread in the first place?

Hi Laura,
What happens sometimes is that forums become a place where people make virtual friends and at times, posters (especially "newbies") start posting things in conversation as if the public forums were private areas. We have been informed of other situations where people post things that we had sent "privately" or "personally" to a member, and they had posted on a public forum!

Hi dragonfire,
Thank you for continuing to contribute to discussions. Just as a caution to newbie posters, it's best to try to keep conversations "general" and if possible not give so much specific details that people can "identify" themselves. You never know if the person(s) -- or even their dance friends -- may come across (even though this area is restricted only to registered members).

Just as an example, we had a situation where someone posted so many details about judging that basically identified the person(s) without actually naming them. This resulted in a lawsuit where we were subpoenaed to provide information about the poster (we have strict Privacy Policies, and only under certain "legal" conditions do we release information).

In this situation, everyone who has posted so far definitely agree that there is something that is not quite right about this partnership and relationship, although we understand the dynamics! It is quite regretful that just because the person is paying for all lessons and other expenses, that he feels he has the right to treat the partner this way. The only thing we can add is that the female partner at least intellectually is aware of the pros and cons of this relationship and has opted to put up with it. To each their own.

Sincerely,
DanceScape

Hi Laura,
We just sent you a private message...

Best regards!