quote:

Originally posted by DanceScape:
Hi dragonfire,
Thank you SO much for your personal email. Please do not feel you have to apologize, as we do understand there is a fine line between bringing something up for general discussion versus giving "too much" detail that someone can possibly be identified, especially on a public forum. We were just trying to help minimize any potential problems, especially when there is no bad intention meant!

Thanks as always for sharing your thoughts.

Thanks Dancescape, I appreciate what you say. and have made a mental note of the problematic side of things which may ensue a post.

It has never been my intention of upsetting anyone. I do believe in 'live and let live'.

This 'dress not ..... ' was just such a strange situation, that I wondered if anyone had come across it before in the dancing world.
I have obviously got my answer, so I will leave it there.

quote:

I usually kept all my partner's ballgowns. Of course, I made them, so they technically belonged to me.


Well, if that's the case, then no-one could object.

But do they look as good on you as they did on your partner?

I think Joe has every right to keep the gowns if he made them. Let's say if his partner stops dancing with him, she certainly has no right to keep the gowns that made for her. In that case, Joe can give the gowns to the next girl that he dances with. Of course, if Joe really like his partner, he also has the right to give the gown to her for free because he is the one spend time and effort to make gowns.

For the dysfunctional couple in your original post, I think he has the right to keep standard gowns since he paid for them, and she has the right to keep the latin ones since she purchased them.

In my humble opinion, whoever bought / made the dresses have the right to keep them. It has nothing to do with who looks good in it.

quote:

Originally posted by Oversway:
Of course, if Joe really like his partner, he also has the right to give the gown to her for free because he is the one spend time and effort to make gowns.

Actually, she stopped doing ballroom when she moved away, so she didn't take me up on the offer.

The couple mentioned in the original post sounds like the first instance of BDSM in ballroom that I've ever heard of... caraaaaaaaaaaaayzee. Except for maybe the sadomasochism part, but you definitely got some dominance submission going on there...

Seriously, anyone ever read 9 1/2 weeks?

Yes, I read it. Then I saw the movie. The movie made it all look so fun and sexy, while the book made it all seem rather sordid and degrading.

I don't think the situation described here has gone that far....

quote:

Originally posted by Laura:
Yes, I read it. Then I saw the movie. The movie made it all look so fun and sexy, while the book made it all seem rather sordid and degrading.

I don't think the situation described here has gone that far....

Actually, I thought the movie had nothing to do with the book and was kinda unintelligible. The book, on the other hand, had a lot to say about how emotionally damaging S&M is.

I happen to agree with Oversway about the couple in question and the gowns. As for the rest of the package, it kinda sounds like selling your soul for ballroom. I wouldn't be comfortable with it and would recommend a quick exit. Find a cheaper way to dance (both monetarily and soul-wise)!

quote:

I don't think the situation described here has gone that far....

Well, yes, it doesn't sound anywhere near that extreme, but it did strike a chord.

quote:

Originally posted by Ruth:
Actually, I thought the movie had nothing to do with the book and was kinda unintelligible. The book, on the other hand, had a lot to say about how emotionally damaging S&M is.

My recollections of the movie were that it was more along the lines of B&D than S&M... Is the book different?

Quite. I read the book first, and later on my friends were going on about how sexy the movie was. I saw the movie, and was like "oh wow, this isn't anything like the book...if you had read the book first you'd have a totally different opinion." There were a lot of scenes of humiliation in the book that were left out or toned way down for the movie.

The book ended up with the guy dropping the woman off at the hospital emergency room because she was injured in several ways from their games and also I think pregnant (but I can't recall for sure), and they never saw each other again.

I agree with Laura that having read the book first and having certain expectations probably is why I didn't care for the movie. The book is about degredation and abuse, the movie is about prettied up adventurous sex (as I recall) and pretty hollow.

My recollection of the book's ending is that in the course of their "games" he draws blood for the first time one evening and she wakes up the next morning and absolutely cannot stop crying. Laura's right that the guy drops the woman at the hospital and they never see each other again. It's the realization that the increasing violence of the relationship can only have one possible ending for her that triggers the breakdown. The last lines are about the woman's depressing assesment that her sexual responses have been so warped by the 9 1/2 weeks that she's permanantly numb to pleasure.

Not to wander totally off subject or anything...