Bombshell, funny thing is I am dancing at my teachers comp with the new teacher. It was actually my teacher that suggested it since I was not able to go to the two comps I had planned on earlier this year. All on the up & up!
Location: North America
Just an update that in the last few days, of the people participating in the POLL: Crush on Dance Teacher?, approx. 64% indicated that they have had crushes. It will be interesting to continue to monitor, and if anyone of those have ever actually "acted" out on the crush.
Dancing is, after all, a romantic activity so it is understandable why this does happen!
Hmm... crush on teacher? How about from the instructor's p.o.v.? We come in early & stay late... we accomodate the strangest of schedules & requests. We listen to your hopes & dreams - likes & fears - we put up with your bad moods & crummy days... all with a smile & no complaints - sometimes we even come up with the solution to your problem; if nothing else, often times we are the one person you can count on to listen who'll let you come back (no grudges).
Teachers are people too. While the better ones will never show their human frailties & weaknesses to you lay people - the glamour is for show. This may be a passion, but it is (make no mistake) "WORK". Most of us have to placate daily crushes and fragile egos. I'm not having a b.f. here - just calling a spade what it is... a spade.
Dance instructors cover the entire range of personalities - very few exceptions. Just like meeting someone in a bar - be careful, what you see isn't all there is! Just remember, your "crush" can hurt someone's career - not just your feelings. Teachers are supposed to be professional. If you are the object of a crush - remind them you are there for the training, not a personal relationship... that goes both ways! Teachers, you are there to teach, comfort, support, listen... not to be "involved" romantically. Find your own piece of meat, not your studio's. Students, you are there to learn, socialize, exercise, meet other students, express yourself... your teacher is not your gigilo or your pimp.
I apologize if my post comes off harsh - but love is for outside the studio. If you "love" your teacher, quit that studio. See if your love is still there.
I can talk about this... I was an instructor. Many fellas had crushes, I had to delicately extricate myself from... I married one of my students after 4 years (he quit the studio before we started dating)- we've been married for 5 now!
Location: SF Bay Area
I, too, have been there and its dangerous territory. Most reputable teachers will "pull the plug" on a student if they sense he/she is falling for them. I know of two instances where a teacher ended up marrying their student but it doesn't happen very often. However, I've tried checking out men who strictly social dance (not teachers, just regular dancers) and unfortunately have found that there's not much to talk about with them either. It's a difficult situation to be in. Maybe its because of the area I live in but most of the men and women have different types of lives outside of ballroom dancing. If one goes into this hobby with the expectation of making friends of both sexes and meeting a potential mate, you will be disappointed.
Yes, and I"m one of them! I married my teacher! It does happen, and it IS real. Neither or us are in 'violation' of anything, we were both single and looking, though when I came to the studio, I did so to learn how to dance. The thought of 'picking up' a teacher has NEVER crossed my mind. And for the record: my teacher asked me out! I was no teenager, and neither was he, and actually, technically, he was NOT my instructor when we started dating. I took a special at that studio and we went out after it was over. Then I went back to dance lessons with him, but he switched to an independent studio few months later, and the rest is history. We dated for almost 4 years before we married.
I, for one, refuse to think I did something wrong! Absolutely not. All I wanted to do is dance, but who can blame me if I got a little more than I bargained for?!
Location: SF Bay Area
I'm happy for you that everything worked out. But, in reality, one must be careful. The student has everything to lose if they get involved with their teacher and it doesn't work out. If a student ends up dancing with a different teacher and then the student ends up dating their ex-teacher, then its a different ballgame. However, if they date their teacher and it doesn't work out, then they not only lost a boyfriend but also a teacher. Not a good thing if that teacher taught that student well and that student ended up improving their dancing as a result. You don't want to "cut off your nose to spite your face". Plus, if word gets around that you are dating your teacher, his or her other students may resent you and other teachers at the studio may look upon that relationship as trivial. One often finds that once their teacher takes off their "mask" and is away from the studio, say, at a particular dance function, you see them in a different light and it may not be a flattering one. So, it's best to keep things simply friendly with one's teacher.
Not to be misunderstood, I WASN'T encouraging anybody by any means to date their dance teacher!!! I dated the same teacher all along after I finished my special at the old studio, and I was still his student and his girlfriend at the new studio, and everybody knew. I was just saying that for some of us, the relationship is legit and leads to something MEANINGFUL! If you can't handle your own emotions or are unable to discern fantasy from reality, DO NOT GET INVOLVED or risk a humiliating wake up call. Use your mind, not your hormones, people!
Location: New York City
I wish more dance teachers would write in. Just as we know we have to sublimate our feelings, do they also? Do they get turned on by attractive/sexy students and know they can't ask them out? I assume so,the attraction must go both ways. And yes, teachers listen to students' hopes and fears, but about students' moodiness... I would never show moodiness, I always put on a show also, and actually just beginning my lesson transforms me and I am immediately into this magical world I love, but sometimes my teachers are in a bad, or just sad, or preoccupied mood. I deal with it, I understand it, it's a long day, teaching hour after hour, and they have their own fatigue, partnership problems, career disappointments, they can't always be upbeat, and is that even a job requirement? I am attuned to their mood and often they regain their good spirits during the lesson. Teachers rarely write on these forums, but I would like to hear more of what they think and what they want from us besides the obvious.
Location: SF Bay Area
I think that's an excellent idea. If any of them do respond, then their posts should be displayed for all students and potential students to read and remember. I've seen some students coming on to their teachers. It's embarassing to watch, knowing that the teachers are uncomfortable with the situation and may end up having to place that student with another teacher. Dancing does invoke emotion but one has to remember that teachers are playing up to their students to get them to feel the rhythm of the dance and display the emotion of that particular dance through their movements. That's all it is. If one is having feels for one's teacher they need to move on to another teacher because that's a situation that will never work.
With all due respect to teachers, I suspect that not as many students have crushes on them that they think. I've even had one of my teachers remark to me that "so and so has a crush on me". Granted, most teachers are incredibly talented, personable and attractive/sexy - but a lot of times with the ego to match. I have three instructors and flirt and tease with all of them - - but go out with any of them? No way. It's all in fun. (But then we southern gals flirt with everyone!
|Powered by Social Strata||Page 1 2 3|